Falling

Falling marks the beginning of one of the hardest chapters between my wife and me. By this point, our relationship was already fragile. I had moved out of the house, and we were both living in a place of emotional distance and uncertainty.

Then she fell down the stairs.

She broke her small toe — something that, at first, seemed minor. It was the middle of COVID, hospitals were overwhelmed, and access to proper care was limited. The doctor told her to keep her foot still and let it heal. What followed changed everything.

She developed CRPS (Complex Regional Pain Syndrome) — a condition where the nervous system malfunctions and continues to send intense pain signals long after the original injury should have healed. Pain becomes constant, burning, overwhelming. The body reacts as if it is under attack. Touch hurts. Movement hurts. Sometimes even air hurts. It’s a condition that is still poorly understood, often misdiagnosed, and brutally isolating.

She was in extreme pain.

I moved back into the house to take care of her because she could barely walk. What stays with me is not just the pain itself, but her strength. I was — and still am — incredibly proud of her. She suffered deeply, yet she tried not to show it. She kept going. But I could see it in her face. I could see how much it cost her just to exist inside her own body.

There was very little information available at the time. Some of the suggested treatments were extreme, frightening. We kept searching. Reading. Asking. Refusing to give up. Eventually, she found a hospital in the south of France that was having positive results treating CRPS.

So we went.

The whole family packed into the car and drove south. That journey became one of the most memorable trips of our relationship — not because it was easy, but because it was full of care, hope, and love. At one point, we arrived at these vast sand dunes. She wanted to see them so badly. I helped her walk all the way up. Step by step. Slowly. Painfully.

I was so proud of her.

I will never forget that day.

Falling is not just about the fall down the stairs. It’s about how quickly life can collapse, how love can be tested, and how sometimes the most fragile moments reveal the deepest forms of strength. It’s about standing by someone when everything hurts — even when the relationship itself is wounded — and choosing care over fear, presence over escape.

"Technique painting: Acrylic, Oil, Chalk, Oil Pastels on Canvas and spray paint on canvas 40" by 32"